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独立写作中二选一题目让步段的正确写法

作者: 2016-06-15 09:18 来源:青岛编辑

 

                                            ------如何规范让步段避免削弱自方优点                                                             

青岛新航道 綦蕾

 

  在托福独立写作中 “二选一”是最常见的题型,“一边倒”也是我们在审题后的文章结构,主要是基于它所带来的内容的详实性和支持的力度性。 然而对于大部分考生就某些题目的思路而言很难完成“一边倒”的解构,那么这时就会引入一个让步段来完成内容的充分性,我们先来看一道真题:

  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

  It is better to watch serious movies to get deeper thoughts than to watch movies that amuse or entertain you. Compare both advantages and use specific examples and details to support your answer.

  拿到这个题目,审题思路的理想版本是“一边倒”,然而绞尽脑汁思考之后现实的思路模板却是:

 

serious movies 优点

entertaining movies 优点

1. provide people with an opportunity to extend their horizon and absorb a vast amount of knowledge.

1. make the audience laugh help us to forget our troubles, release our pressure  and feel relaxed and happy .

 

2. to enrich people’s inner world.

 

 

 

 

 

  这种情况下我们只能采取加入一个让步段的文章结构形式,但是在具体操作时学生往往会写出这样的让步段:

  At first, watching entertaining movies has many advantages. It means funny or even absurd, movies such as comedies that are intended to make the audience laugh help us to forget our troubles, release our pressure and feel relaxed and happy for a long time. For example, American pies, which has all the ingredients of a good movie. The film has one liners, sight gags, and situations that very funny. The audience, which ranged from teenagers to middle age, laughed almost constantly and out loud. So watching entertaining movies does have many advantages. But I support the idea that watching serious movies is better .

  通过上面学生的写作实例,我们不难发现其中让步段不支持方优点写的过多过好,从而消弱了自身立场的优点。这是让步段书写中的典型问题。那么如何修改才能写出恰当的让步段呢?我们先看一下让步段的一些基本要求:

  1. 让步段作用

  ——体现作者考虑问题全面

  2. 可作为让步的成分

  ——对方优点 / 我方缺点

  3. 让步段位置

  ——第二段或第四段(推荐第四段)

  4. 让步段框架

  ——让步,转折,反驳(词类不写)

  5. 让步主题句,对让步内容进行简要展开,转折句,反驳(词类不写)

  6. 让步段主题句写法:四种方法可以削弱让步内容:

  从语气上削弱:Admittedly/ Undoubtedly/It is conceded that/It is true that/Indeed

  从可能性上削弱 :may/might/possibly/probably

  从数量大小上削弱:one/one or two/ a couple of/minor

  从程度上削弱:to some extent/to some degree

  通过上述内容,我们可以总结“三步走战略”完成让步段:

  1. 让步的逻辑连接引出让步

  2. 不支持方优点简述(≤ 2句话)

  3. 转折(有利于我方立场和观点)

  因此上述学生的写作实例按照上述 “三步走战略”修改如下:

  Indeed, funny or even absurd, movies such as comedies that are intended to make the audience laugh help us to forget our troubles, release our pressure and feel relaxed and happy for a while. However, we have to admit that after a temporary laugh, nothing meaningful or educational is left. On the contrary, serious movies that broaden our view, grant us hopes and make us examine the things we do,the value we revere and the way we behave and treat people around us are cherished as treasures and can go through the test of the time.

  最后,再给大家一道真题演练一下让步段的灵活应用:

  例:Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

  Parents should help their children make decisions.

  Disagree!

  Admittedly, some people claim that it is beneficial for the kids if their parents make decisions for them. Due to their rich life experience and mature thoughts, adults are able to make more objective and correct judgment than the innocent children. However, for the children themselves, this is not an act of trustworthiness. They might think that their parents doubt about their abilities and talents, which may lead to conflict between children and their parents,affecting the communication at the same time. Thus, I believe parents should allow children to make decisions on their own.

 

  本栏目文章皆由青岛新航道教师撰稿,转载请注明出处!

 

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