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从雅思大作文看如何拿到雅思写作七分

来源:新航道 浏览:0 发布日期:2016-09-12 15:13

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   雅思写作一直是我们的难题,我们的阅读和听力可以拿到8分甚至再高的分数,但是很少人能够拿到雅思写作七分及以上,雅思写作就真的那么难写么?我们一起来看以8月20日的雅思大作文为例怎么样去写一篇七分以上的作文!

 

  8月26日的雅思大作文题目是:

  Some people think charity organisations should help people in great need wherever they live. However, others think they should help people in their own country. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

  仔细审题,我们会发现题目要求我们讨论的观点是:慈善机构应该帮助所有人,还是仅帮助自己国家的人?这个题目非常有意思,可以从多方面加以讨论,但是相对于一般的教育类话题、环保类话题等,这个话题可能对有些“两耳不闻窗外事,一心只读圣贤书”的学生会构成不小的挑战。当然,有些同学英语词汇量不够,连charity是什么意思都不明白,那这个作文对他们而言就是简直了!

  那么,究竟如何构思这篇作文呢?我们可能会本能地觉得,慈善机构应该帮助本国的人,因为慈善机构的钱主要来自本国,但是,在这个全球化的时代,很多慈善机构的钱难道不是来自世界各地吗?何况,慈善机构的宗旨就是帮助人类克服困难,救助扶持社会中的困难人士,从某种意义上,我们也可以说,在这个全球化时代,帮助其他国家的人本质上也是在帮助自己国家。这样,好像我们又可以认为慈善机构应该帮助世界上所有需要帮助的人(people in need)。如果我们进一步思考,将慈善机构分为“地区性的慈善机构”和“全球性的慈善机构”,那么这个问题就更容易讨论:地区性的慈善机构主要应该帮助本国人(有余力的时候帮助外国人),全球性的慈善机构则应放眼全球,哪里需要就到哪里去。

  将题目中的关键词进行细分,然后分别讨论,是雅思写作的重要应对策略之一。比如,就“网络电影能否取代电影院”,我们就可细分,就一般电影而言,网络完全可以取代电影院,但对于那些特别依赖特殊效果的电影而言,网络不可能取代电影院;就年轻一代而言,他们可能更愿意在网上看电影,但就年纪比较大的观众而言,他们宁愿去电影院,等等。大家可以试着用这种“关键词细分法”去破题,在很多情况下都能柳暗花明,解决你无话可说的窘境。

  7分范文:

  Charity organisations are supposed to offer help to people in great need, such as those suffering from incurable diseases, natural disasters and unexpected accidents. Yet one issue is still in debate: to whom should the money of charity organisations go, exclusively to people who live in the same country as the organisations, or to all people regardless of where they live? To my mind, the answer to this question depends largely on the mission of specific charity organisations.

  One important reason why some people hold the same-country view is that, as they see it, the charity money comes from the rich people and other donators who live in the same country as those needy people, and naturally the charity organisations should help them rather than people from other countries. This is partly true, especially to the local charity groups whose chief concern is to solve the local problems. Yet for such organisations as Bill Gates Charity Foundation whose money comes from the entire world, it is far from enough only to help Americans, although it is headquartered in the U.S. As a matter of fact, Bill Gates Charity Foundation, along with other “global” charity groups, has extended its help to all people in all countries and regions throughout the world.

  Besides, there are charity organisations that address different issues, some of which being daily necessities, others being disease control, environmental protection, to name only a few. Some of these issues are local while others are global in nature. Generally, local charity groups play a more important role in addressing local issues though outside help is also always welcomed, while in face of those global issues like disease control or environmental protection, charity organisations need to travel across territorial borders and offer help to those who live in any part of the world.

  To conclude, where the charity money should go is mainly determined by the chief concerns and missions of different charity organisations. An organisation aiming at solving local issues should spend its money helping people who live in the same country, but if an organisation sets its eyes on global issues, it should not confine itself to a single country. (357 words)

  老师笔记:

  Charity organisations are supposed to offer help to people in great need, such as those suffering from incurable diseases, natural disasters and unexpected accidents. Yet one issue is still in debate: to whom should the money of charity organisations go, exclusively to people who live in the same country as the organisations, or to all people regardless of where they live? To my mind, the answer to this question depends largely on the mission of specific charity organisations.

  开头段,先定义charity organisation引出话题,然后重述题目中的问题,最后提出自己的观点。请注意:唐老师没有照抄原题,而是对其进行了重新表述,这是语言表达水平的一个重要方面,学生需要不断练习才能真正提升这个能力。

  such as... 往往能够给我们提供一个机会来展示我们的知识水平。这里的such as those suffering from...完全可以不要,但正是这个such as后面的内容,让考官看到了学生的知识面和表达力。

  to my mind,... 是一个很有用的短语,意思为“我认为”。多数学生会使用in my view, in my opinion, as far as I am concerned。

  看一看老师在本段使用的几个副词(组)。exclusively = only; regardless of = no matter; largely = mainly

  One important reason why some people hold the same-country view is that, as they see it, the charity money comes from the rich people and other donators who live in the same country as those needy people, and naturally the charity organisations should help them rather than people from other countries. This is partly true, especially to the local charity groups whose chief concern is to solve the local problems. Yet for such organisations as Bill Gates Charity Foundation whose money comes from the entire world, it is far from enough only to help Americans, although it is headquartered in the U.S. As a matter of fact, Bill Gates Charity Foundation, along with other “global” charity groups, has extended its help to all people in all countries and regions throughout the world.

  本段论证不同规模不同性质的慈善机构使用钱的方向不同。区分两类慈善机构:地区性的和全球性的。

  As they see it,... 在他们看来

  This is partly true,... 这有一半是正确的

  It is far from enough to... 做......远远不够

  As a matter of fact = in fact, actually 事实上

  Besides, there are charity organisations that address different issues, some of which being daily necessities, others being disease control, environmental protection, to name only a few. Some of these issues are local while others are global in nature. Generally, local charity groups play a more important role in addressing local issues though outside help is also always welcomed, while in face of those global issues like disease control or environmental protection, charity organisations need to travel across territorial borders and offer help to those who live in any part of the world.

  本段论证解决不同问题的慈善机构使用钱的方向也不同,将慈善机构分为解决区域问题的机构和解决全球性问题的机构。

  to name only a few相当于“等等”,多数同学会用and so on...

  while在这里引导转折,相当于but。

  To conclude, where the charity money should go is mainly determined by the chief concerns and missions of different charity organisations. An organisation aiming at solving local issues should spend its money helping people who live in the same country, but if an organisation sets its eyes on global issues, it should not confine itself to a single country.

  本段为结尾段,对前文论述的内容进行重新概括,注意在用语上要与前文保持一定差异。

  必须学习本段用不同句型来表达近似内容的方法。an organisation aiming at solving local issues... = if an organisation aims at solving local issues, it ...

  参考译文:

  慈善组织应为急需帮助的人提供帮助,比如身患不治之症的人,遭受自然灾害的人,和遭遇意外事故的人。然而,有一个问题仍在争论中:慈善组织的钱到底该用在谁身上,应该用于与机构同一国家的人呢,还是用于所有人,不管他们出身在哪?在我看来,这个问题的答案在很大程度上取决于特定慈善组织的使命。

  有些人持同一国家观点,其重要理由是:在他们看来,用于慈善的钱来自于富人及其他捐资人,他们与那些需要这些钱的人生活在同一个国家,因此,慈善组织理应帮助他们,而不是其他国家的人。这个观点有一定的正确性,尤其是对那些主要致力于解决本国问题的慈善机构。然而,对于像比尔.盖茨慈善基金会这样的组织而言(它的钱来自全世界),虽然其总部在美国,但若只帮助美国人就远远不够了。事实上,比尔.盖茨慈善基金会,还有其他类似的“全球”慈善机构,已经将他们的帮助延伸到了世界上所有国家和地区的人们。

  此外,不同的慈善组织解决不同的问题,有些问题是日常需要的,有些则是关于疾病控制和环境保护的,等等。本质上,这些问题有些是区域性的,有些则是全球性的。一般而言,在解决区域问题时,区域性的慈善机构扮演了更重要的角色(虽然外面的帮助总是受到欢迎),而面对诸如疾病控制或环境保护这样的全球性问题时,慈善机构需要跨越领土边界,给世界上任何角落的人提供援助。

  总之,慈善款应用于何处,主要取决于不同慈善组织的首要关注点和使命。致力于解决区域问题的机构应该将善款用于帮助生活在同一国家的人,但是如果一个机构关注全球问题,那它就不应该局限在一个国家了。

 

  以上就是以雅思8月20日大作文为例来说明如何来让雅思作文到7分以上,从审题到布局,然后到各段中的用词甚至是论证方法都要下功夫,想要写一篇逻辑清晰,结构合理,用词丰富的雅思作文不妨可以来到青岛新航道雅思培训的课堂和老师同学一起探讨!

 

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