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12月3日雅思写作大作文解析

作者: 2016-12-06 16:15 来源:青岛编辑

 

  Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

 

雅思作文考题

 

 

  又见2014年原题!

  本年12月考试的作文题目是关于为运动员建专门的训练设施,让他们在国际赛场争金夺银,这样做是好还是坏?本题是2014年7月10日原题重现。唐老师在本专栏上期曾提醒大家多注意练习2014年和2013年的写作真题,没想到再次一语成谶。不过,即使没练过,这个题目写起来也还是相当容易的。在解析本题之前,顺便说一句,关于体育设施,还有一个比较常见的问法是:在一个新城市中,是多建体育设施好,还是建购物中心好?

  那么,为运动员专门建训练设施,让他们在国际赛场上成功,这个做法好不好呢?如果从肯定的角度,我们可以认为,运动员获得,最直接的好处就是让他们收获奖金,从而改变他们的经济状况。这点是常识,但很多烤鸭可能都想不到,因为我们中国烤鸭一看到,立马想到的是升国旗,奏国歌,其他的好像什么都想不起了。这就是中国烤鸭的思维问题所在:因为是用汉语思维,就不可避免地带上汉语思维的特征,同时因为都是成年人了,汉语思维还往往比较抽象,但问题是多数烤鸭的英语水平不够好,用英语来表达汉语想的那些复杂思想还不能做到游刃有余,于是就霸王硬上弓,结果就弄出来很多汉语式英语,顺带还有很多语法错误,最糟糕的情况就是把雅思考官弄得一脸蒙逼,他就只好给你个低分了。那么,怎么办呢?唐老师的药方就是让这类考生主动装傻,或者扮嫩,给自己的思维降降等级。唐老师有个理论,就是雅思6分作文的思维水平,只要达到我们小学3、4年级即可,不需要去讨论那些高深层次的内容,因为你的英语表达水平达不到。各位烤鸭回去看看,你小学3、4年级的汉语作文写的什么,你在雅思考场上就用英语写什么就够了!

  运动员得,除了改善运动员的经济状况外,还有别的什么好处呢?那我们就稍微想远一点,这些运动员是不是可以成为孩子们的英雄(role model),从而激发他们去参加运动呢?最后再想多点,这些运动员得,是不是可以激发整个国家的自豪感(national pride)呢?好,总结起来,国家给运动员建训练设施让他们得,就有三个好处:

  (1)改善他们自己的经济状况;

  (2)成为孩子们学习的对象;

  (3)激发国家自豪感。

  这三点都不抽象,而且层层推进,从个人到他人,最后到国家,层次感有了,逻辑也有了。雅思写作思维就是这么简单,就是这么有乐趣!(特别提示:如果你写不了国家自豪感这个层次,写前两点也足够。写作的核心标准是写正确没有,写明白没有,而不是一定要写到哪几个点!那是国内政治课老师的毛病!)

  然而,如果只考虑运动员得的好处,却不考虑大众体育设施的建设,这无疑又是极端了。如果一个国家大多数群众没有地方锻炼身体,你得再多的国际也是然并卵。你的钱有了,role model 也有了,国家自豪感也有了,可是当你豪情万丈地出门准备锻炼身体,却发现举目四望无处可去,你不回家骂娘才怪!因此,结论很简单:政府需要给运动员建特殊训练设施,但更需要给普通民众提供体育锻炼设施,但是如果政府预算有限,不能两者兼顾时,我宁愿政府先投资大众体育设施,因此只有建立在大众体育基础上的才能真正成为大众的role model,才能真正给我们带来国家自豪感!

 

  7分范文

  Some countries today invest huge amount of money on specialized facilities for the training of their top athletes to achieve sporting success internationally. I think this investment is rewarding as long as it is not at the expenses of the sports facilities for the public.

  The benefits of athletes winning on international sports arena such as Olympic Games or the World Cup Championship are multiple. For the athletes, who often come from economically underprivileged families, a champion can save them from their financial embarrassment, not just for themselves, but for the entire families as well. An Olympic champion, furthermore, can become a national hero and serve as the role model for numerous young people, who will try to be as hard-working, self-disciplined, and persistent as the champion. Most importantly, a hard-won champion title can even bring pride to the entire nation and help the nation to move on, especially in hard times.

  However, more international champions should not become the excuse to cut down on the investment on the public sports facilities. A country without adequate sports facilities for the general public can never be truly encouraged no matter how many world champions it boasts. You will understand the frustration when you put on your sports shirt and go out, spurred by the perfect performance of an athlete you love in an important game, only to find that all available gyms and stadiums are crowded, leaving you nowhere to go.

  To conclude, international sporting success is necessary, which explains why a country ought to put money into specialized facilities to train its top athletes. However, if the government has to make a choice between the world champions and the public sports facilities, I will support the second one. To my mind, only when the general mass of people enjoy the adequate sports facilities will they be encouraged and motivated by their world champions.

 

  参考译文

  现在,有些国家投入巨资建设特殊设施来训练其运动员,让他们在国际上取得比赛的成功。我觉得只要不牺牲大众体育设施的建设,这种投资是有回报的。

  运动员在国际赛场(比如奥林匹克运动会或世界杯竞标赛)获胜的好处很多。对运动员来说(他们常常来自经济不好的家庭),一个就能让他们走出经济困境中,不仅是他们自己,还包括他们整个家庭。此外,一个奥林匹克能成为国家英雄,成为千千万万年轻人的榜样,他们也会努力像一样刻苦、自律、坚持。更重要的是,一个来之不易的头衔甚至可以给整个国家带来自豪感,从而帮助这个国家继续前行,尤其在艰难时期。

  然而,赢得更多国际比赛不应该成为借口来削减对大众体育设施的投入。一个国家如果没有足够的大众体育设施,无论拥有多少,都不能真正地受到激励。当你喜欢的运动员在一场重要比赛中表现完美,受其激励,你换上运动衫出门,却发现所有能找到的体育场馆都人满为患,让你无处可去。这时,你会理解那种无奈的。

  总之,国际赛场的成功是必要的,这也解释了为什么一个国家应该投入建特殊设施来训练其运动员。然而,如果政府必须在世界和大众体育设施之间做出选择,我会支持后面一个。在我看来,只有当广大民众享有足够的体育设施时,他们才能被世界所激励。

 

  老师笔记

  01

  Some countries today invest huge amount of money on specialized facilities for the training of their top athletes to achieve sporting success internationally. I think this investment is rewarding as long as it is not at the expenses of the sports facilities for the public.

  解析

  (1) 本段提出话题,同时表明观点,直接明了。

  (2) invest 投资

  (3) rewarding 值得的;有回报的 (=worthwhile)

  (4) as long as 只要......, 这是一个很有用的短语,相当于if。

  (5) at the expenses of... 以......为代价

  02

  The benefits of athletes winning on international sports arena such as Olympic Games or the World Cup Championship are multiple. For the athletes, who often come from economically underprivileged families, a champion can save them from their financial embarrassment, not just for themselves, but for the entire families as well. An Olympic champion, furthermore, can become a national hero and serve as the role model for numerous young people, who will try to be as hard-working, self-disciplined, and persistent as the champion. Most importantly, a hard-won champion title can even bring pride to the entire nation and help the nation to move on, especially in hard times.

  解析

  (1) 本段讨论世界带来的好处。句是主题句,接下来分三个方面进行详细论述,中间的过度词分别为furthermore, most importantly。

  (2) arena 舞台(=stage)

  (3) multiple 多的(=many)

  (4) economically underprivileged 经济上处于不利地位的,也就是贫穷的(=poor)

  (5) financial embarrassment 经济困境(=difficulty)

  (6) persistent 坚持的

  (7) 本段唐老师使用了较多比较高段的词汇,大家可以根据自己的情况做简单化替换。

  03

  However, more international champions should not become the excuse to cut down on the investment on the public sports facilities. A country without adequate sports facilities for the general public can never be truly encouraged no matter how many world champions it boasts. You will understand the frustration when you put on your sports shirt and go out, spurred by the perfect performance of an athlete you love in an important game, only to find that all available gyms and stadiums are crowded, leaving you nowhere to go.

  解析

  (1) 本段提出给运动员建专门训练设施不能减少大众体育设施的投入。注意唐老师在句型使用方面的变化。想要高分的同学,必须加强句型使用的灵活性。

  (2) cut down on... 削减 (=reduce)

  (3) boast 拥有;吹嘘(=possess; own; have)

  (4) spur 刺激

  (5) only to find 却发现......

  (6) 本段最后一句的结构比较复杂,如果能模仿学习,如果不行,切不可硬来,否则错误几率极大。可以分开写:When you love an athlete, and are spurred by his perfect performance in an important game, then you put on your sports shirt and go out. You will feel very frustrated if you find that all available gyms and stadiums are crowded, and you have nowhere to go. 这样写犯错的几率小很多,但同样是正确的,清晰的。在模仿唐老师的范文时,请大家一定要根据自己的情况进行调整。(唐老师已经照顾大家的情绪,尽量降低水平了!)

  04

  To conclude, international sporting success is necessary, which explains why a country ought to put money into specialized facilities to train its top athletes. However, if the government has to make a choice between the world champions and the public sports facilities, I will support the second one. To my mind, only when the general mass of people enjoy the adequate sports facilities will they be encouraged and motivated by their world champions.

  解析

  (1) 本段为结尾段,同时重申自己的观点。

  (2) to my mind 我认为.....。多数同学都会用in mu opinion, 甚至as far as I am concerned,下次不妨用用to my mind! (记准确:是to my mind)

  (3) the general mass of people 广大民众

  (文唐伟胜 新航道特约雅思学术顾问)

 

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